Inspired by the Flux’s 3 word movie reviews, I have decided to try the far wordier, albeit far less ambitious, 5 word movie review. Originally I set out to review ever movie I have ever seen. This proved to be silly and, quite frankly, impossible. For now, I will start with twenty.

Citizen Kane (1941)
Alright. I could do better.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)
Didn’t see it. Sounds Awesome!

Chinatown (1974)
Roman Polanski: Genius, Child Fucker

Mad Max (1979)
Rockatansky? Sounds Jewish to me…

Blade Runner (1982)
I dream of electric sheep… :-0

Yentl (1983)
Guessing Mel didn’t see it.

Pretty in Pink (1986)
Andie’s black. Think about it.

Above the Law (1988)
Good Seagal. Only happened once.

Harrison Ford is The Fugitive (1993)
Best movie ever! No, seriously

The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
FRESH FISH! FRESH FISH! Yikes.

Braveheart (1995)
Wasn’t William Wallace a jew?

Breaking the Waves (1996)
“Golden Heart” trilogy causes vomiting

Titanic (1997)
Birthed “synthespians”. Drowned them all.

Conspiracy Theory (1997)
Amazingly, not about the jews!

Dancer in the Dark (2000)
Breaking the Waves: The Musical

American Psycho (2000)
I can relate… Just kidding…

Ghost Ship (2002)
Ghosts on Ship. Zanyness ensues

Fahrenheit 9/11 (2004)
Face It. Michael was right.

The Passion of the Christ (2004)
I know he was jewish.

Derailed (2005)
Tell Hafstrom “Rape’s not cool”!!

Check out The Flux to see their three word reviews.

About The Author - My name is Stirling McLaughlin. I am married. I am an Art Director, Designer and Illustrator. I work at Atmosphere BBDO. I have lots of ideas. I have a baby girl named Nika Bean. I live in New York City. When I was in college, they put me on TV because I wore a mask and yelled at people. I have a reality show that I wil be starting… any day now. - See My Portfolio