In the interest of entertaining you, my reader, I went to Central Park to find something interesting to write about. It was there that I came to a startling revelation. Central Park has junk in it!
Today Dawn and I visited the Central Park Zoo. Yes, you heard me right. Central Park has a Zoo… In it! Even more amazing is that there are animals in the Zoo… The Zoo that is in Central Park!
At The Zoo we saw a huge Polar Bear. Just one look at him and you could tell he was so happy just to have such a sweet pad on the East-side. Sure, it was 90 degrees outside, but he had a pool and everything! Who has a pool on the UES? Lucky bastard.
We also saw an amazing group of arctic monkeys. They are so human-like its freaky! Of course I’ve never seen a human being falate themselves in front of a bunch of children. Well, at least I’ve never seen a human being falate themselves in front of a group of children that wasn’t on the A train.
Perhaps the most amazing sight of the day came not in The Zoo, but on the walk to The Zoo. As we crossed the park from Columbus Circle we saw a couple of tourists riding in the back of a rickshaw. The driver cheerfully explained that he had moved to New York because “He worked in the Film Industry” and he “did lighting and cinematography.” It was inspiring to hear someone so young was able to work in such a competitive industry. He obviously only drives a rickshaw for fun… when its raining… and he needs to eat a meal.
